2012 Bucket List Update (February)

So far sticking to my "2012 Bucket List" has been somewhat difficult yet easier than I thought. After finding the inspiration to start my list for the new year I did exactly what I always do... I jumped in eager to get it done and accomplished! This is just like me, setting my mind to something or an idea and wanting to achieve it almost instantly even if it's impossible. This may be because I know if I don't dive in head first I wont even bother trying to get my feet wet. So lets talk about what I have and haven't done! I began P90 (which was 6 days a week -- DOUBLE my original exercise goal) and started feeling really great about my streak of motivation... I was (key word) also counting my calories and drinking my water! I LOST 9 POUNDS!!! This lasted approx 2 weeks before I made a BIG MISTAKE by grabbing fast food on my "cheat" day! You can guess what happened from there! GOODBYE P90, PEACE OUT calorie counting, water... whats that?? Yea, not my proudest moment! So here I am -- typing this note STILL FAT! Motivation will find me soon and if it doesn't I will force it upon myself! hahahaha Checking something off your list and doing the happy dance is great UNTIL you have to be honest with yourself and go back and erase the dang things because you FAILED! :/ So I would definitely say this has been the "difficult" portion of my list, which doesn't surprise me as I knew from the get go turning away from my bad habits damn near cold turkey wouldn't go well. On the upside I have achieved other goals in my bucket such as getting the process started on my smile! I have already seen a dentist and orthodontist... Cavities are filled, teeth are cleaned, and braces are scheduled for March 5th. I'm excited and nervous, but nonetheless excited to see a pretty straight smile on my face! Also, tomorrow LENT will begin -- I am still deciding what I want to give up but I know it will be something that I frequently indulge in. Also I am planning to go out and purchase a book (Bread & Wine) which is a run down on Lent and daily devotionals so therefore I am also catching up on my reading which just so happens to be on my list as well!!! WOO WOO! Brandon and I recently went on a date and even had a family dinner date with our sweet girl which was really nice. I hope we can continue to find time for each other as life carries us into daily chaos. Random acts of kindness has gone a little slower than I planned. While I try to be kind daily the most I have accomplished is taking my time to clip coupons I know I won't use and disbursing them while I shop so a stranger can save some money (even if it is a few cents or a couple of dollars). It's not much at the moment, but I will make time for bigger and more meaningful opportunities. Lastly, I have a little something else in the works that is on my list, but in fear of jinxing myself I want to keep it quiet for now. Overall I would say for only being 2 months into the new year I have accomplished more than most people and even myself thought I would and I'm making some bold moves that I am hoping in the end will be worth while. This is definitely a work in progress so stay tuned!

TO BE CONTINUED...

2011: Lived & Learned, Loved & Lost -- 2012: SURPRISE ME

Instead of giving this blog the typical title "2012 Resolutions" I wanted to make a statement. 2011 was just like every year -- A ROLLERCOASTER! I lived my life rolling through the motions. I learned a lot about love, truth, friendship, heart break, and loss amongst many other things. Life is unpredictable and I'm tired of being predictable! Another year is over, a new one just begun so what better time than NOW to make some changes. I don't really want to say I am making a list of New Years Resolutions. I think the tasks will be much more fun to accomplish if I call them "My 2012 Bucket List". There is just something that feels oh so good about putting a check next to things you have accomplished and shouting with full excitement "NEXT"!!! So here we go, my bucket list for the upcoming year is as followed and in no particular order:

• Have a spontaneous moment or two -- something out of the ordinary that I wouldn't necessarily do by choice! (Eeek that should be interesting)
• BE ON TIME (everyone knows if I'm not late, I'm not me)
• Reach my goal weight (If they can do it on MTV's I Used To Be Fat so can I)
• Exercise 2-3x a week (not just to help lose weight, but to keep myself healthy and fit)
• Drink more water (atleast 2-8oz cups a day... I should already be doing this, but I really can't stand water, unless it's hot out)
• Eat healthier -- I am going to make myself eat veggies... I am going to make myself eat veggies (maybe if I say it enough I will eat it and like it)
• Go on a family camping trip -- legit camping... in a tent, making food around a fire, outdoorsy activities, with no leisure electronics except for a radio and a phone (which will be used for quick/necessary calls only, nothing else)
• In celebration of my 25th Birthday I want to do 25 RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS whether that be volunteering, making care packages, giving food to someone who is homeless, adopting a family at christmas, etc....
• Go to the dentist and get the process started on a NEW SMILE!
• Find a new job and start a career that makes me truly happy
• Plant a garden of some sort
• Stop cussing (such a horrible/unclassy habit I have)
• Have a date night (or two) with Brandon every month
• Go to church more often
• Participate and follow through with LENT (Feb 22-April 5th in case you were wondering) 
• Find something positive in everyday and say it outloud just so I can hear it
• Do arts & crafts with Cheyanne
• Make more time to read (atleast 12 new books)
• Participate in one of Brandon's hobbies with him (pray for me)
• Have a photographer take our family pictures (other than my wedding, Brandon and I have never had any professional photos taken together)
• Understand politics to some degree and use my right to VOTE for the very first time

WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING TO DO DIFFERENTLY IN THE NEW YEAR???

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

I have always been a person who is in touch with my inner being. I believe in those "gut" feelings and ironic "signs" that seem to just make sense. Karma, in my opinion is not only real but can be good and bad. I don't think I am a psychic but I can feel "un-said" things. Sounds crazy, but have you ever just had a inner feeling about someone who needed help emotionally? It is a natural act for me to be there for people I feel need me. It flows effortlessly from my being. I have no problem sharing advice, being a listener, a shoulder to cry on, an encourager, a friend, or that ray of sunshine you need on a cloudy day. It may seem that I am speaking a little too highly of myself  but the reality is I don't look at it as "Oh I am a non-trained therapist, just call me Dr Philissa" (lol-inside joke)... I see it as more of a so called "gift"... yea i know, how cliche! However for some reason I can never seem to follow my own advice or better myself in certain aspects. I can so easily say to someone "dont give up" or "all you need is blah blah blah" when the truth is I need to be telling myself those things. The saying "its easier said than done" is annoyingly true! I feel so accomplished when I can cheer someone up and/or help them through a tough time, yet pathetic that I can't seem to make my own self better. Am I a hypocrite for the whole "do as I say, not as I do" aspect I seem to portray??? I am not sure, but the good news is -- if I cant fix my own life, at least I can help a friend or perhaps a stranger with theirs!

Simplicity

What is blogging? According to online sources -- A blog (short for weblog) is a personal online journal that is frequently updated and intended for general public consumption. BASICALLY its YOU allowing yourself to be vulnerable by sharing stories about your life and personal opinions. Its an outlet to speak your mind and not be afraid or ashamed of  the reaction you get. I'm no stranger to blogging, in fact I have been writing all my life. I find it relaxing and a way that I can truly get out everything I am feeling. I can SEE my words -- make sure nothing is left unsaid. When I look back I can remember because the proof is there staring me in the face. So why am I just now setting up this blog you ask? A lot of reasons... I can spill to you all about how sucky things are going when it comes to my daughter Cheyanne being sick so often, how not being able to work and caring for her has caused financial hardships. I can tell you my grandmother is battling cancer and dying a little more each and every day. I can blab about how bored I am with my career - stuck in a rut because I dont know who I want to be when I "grow up". Hell I can even rant about having to use my "mini" laptop at the moment because some hacker sent me a IRS e-mail crashing my computer. No big deal right, Brandon can fix it?? true, except for the fact I can't properly edit client photos until he does and now I'm behind! The lists goes on and on... However who wants to read about sadness and negativity?!? Sure I can write a novel on how to be a "debbie downer"... I'm no stranger to getting in a rut and wallowing in self pity, I am human after all. Luckily I can put all of that to the side and say that in this very moment I am happy. I'm sitting at my dining table with the freedom to pour my heart in to a blog that many people will find boring or won't even read, I'm soaking up the aroma of the red beans and rice on the stove, I'm listening to my daughter babble in her crib, and I am wishing my husband was home from work to share this moment with me. Today I am thrilled to walk outside and smell the rain, happy that even though I didnt get paid to stay home and take care of my daughter that I got to see her and hear her laugh... laughter that I would have missed out on had she been at daycare and me at work. Life is filled with Pros and Cons... I am learning to take each day with a grain of salt! Who know's what tomorrow is going to bring... So what if I dont have the house on the hill and a wad of money in my purse. Here's to hoping you all can find pleasure in simplicity... It's kinda nice on this side of the fence.
much love,
Melissa