Do As I Say, Not As I Do

I have always been a person who is in touch with my inner being. I believe in those "gut" feelings and ironic "signs" that seem to just make sense. Karma, in my opinion is not only real but can be good and bad. I don't think I am a psychic but I can feel "un-said" things. Sounds crazy, but have you ever just had a inner feeling about someone who needed help emotionally? It is a natural act for me to be there for people I feel need me. It flows effortlessly from my being. I have no problem sharing advice, being a listener, a shoulder to cry on, an encourager, a friend, or that ray of sunshine you need on a cloudy day. It may seem that I am speaking a little too highly of myself  but the reality is I don't look at it as "Oh I am a non-trained therapist, just call me Dr Philissa" (lol-inside joke)... I see it as more of a so called "gift"... yea i know, how cliche! However for some reason I can never seem to follow my own advice or better myself in certain aspects. I can so easily say to someone "dont give up" or "all you need is blah blah blah" when the truth is I need to be telling myself those things. The saying "its easier said than done" is annoyingly true! I feel so accomplished when I can cheer someone up and/or help them through a tough time, yet pathetic that I can't seem to make my own self better. Am I a hypocrite for the whole "do as I say, not as I do" aspect I seem to portray??? I am not sure, but the good news is -- if I cant fix my own life, at least I can help a friend or perhaps a stranger with theirs!

Simplicity

What is blogging? According to online sources -- A blog (short for weblog) is a personal online journal that is frequently updated and intended for general public consumption. BASICALLY its YOU allowing yourself to be vulnerable by sharing stories about your life and personal opinions. Its an outlet to speak your mind and not be afraid or ashamed of  the reaction you get. I'm no stranger to blogging, in fact I have been writing all my life. I find it relaxing and a way that I can truly get out everything I am feeling. I can SEE my words -- make sure nothing is left unsaid. When I look back I can remember because the proof is there staring me in the face. So why am I just now setting up this blog you ask? A lot of reasons... I can spill to you all about how sucky things are going when it comes to my daughter Cheyanne being sick so often, how not being able to work and caring for her has caused financial hardships. I can tell you my grandmother is battling cancer and dying a little more each and every day. I can blab about how bored I am with my career - stuck in a rut because I dont know who I want to be when I "grow up". Hell I can even rant about having to use my "mini" laptop at the moment because some hacker sent me a IRS e-mail crashing my computer. No big deal right, Brandon can fix it?? true, except for the fact I can't properly edit client photos until he does and now I'm behind! The lists goes on and on... However who wants to read about sadness and negativity?!? Sure I can write a novel on how to be a "debbie downer"... I'm no stranger to getting in a rut and wallowing in self pity, I am human after all. Luckily I can put all of that to the side and say that in this very moment I am happy. I'm sitting at my dining table with the freedom to pour my heart in to a blog that many people will find boring or won't even read, I'm soaking up the aroma of the red beans and rice on the stove, I'm listening to my daughter babble in her crib, and I am wishing my husband was home from work to share this moment with me. Today I am thrilled to walk outside and smell the rain, happy that even though I didnt get paid to stay home and take care of my daughter that I got to see her and hear her laugh... laughter that I would have missed out on had she been at daycare and me at work. Life is filled with Pros and Cons... I am learning to take each day with a grain of salt! Who know's what tomorrow is going to bring... So what if I dont have the house on the hill and a wad of money in my purse. Here's to hoping you all can find pleasure in simplicity... It's kinda nice on this side of the fence.
much love,
Melissa